


Without Any Reservation

by footlooseandfancybe



Category: Gravity Falls, Secondhand Lions (2003)
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:09:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12132186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/footlooseandfancybe/pseuds/footlooseandfancybe
Summary: When Dipper and Mabel Pines are left at their eccentric great-uncles' house for the summer, Dipper is sure he'll die of boredom. But after finding a mysterious journal, it might be the summer that changes everything for the better.





	1. Chapter 1

It was oppressively muggy in the back of the beat up Subaru that jostled its way around the hairpin turns and down the narrow forest roads of Oregon in late May. Dipper Pines thunked his head against the window, wishing for the hundredth time their mom had bothered to fix the HVAC before taking them off to the ends of the Earth.  
  
The end of the earth was definitely in Oregon, Dipper was sure of that.  
  
“Where to this time mom!?” Mabel chirped from her side of the car, wearing a sweater with a car engine diagram printed on it. “What does it matter where we’re going, we won’t be where all the cool stuff is happening,” Dipper grumbled. Mabel ignored him, while their mother shot him a look in the rearview mirror.  
  
“Mabel, we’re on our way to Gravity Falls, so you two can stay with your great uncles! I realized yesterday their house is the perfect place for you to spend the summer. And Dipper, we’ve been through this a hundred times: where I’m going is going to be hot and boring and I wont be able to spend time with you guys. It’s better if you and Mabel have fun on your summer break, get to be kids!”  
  
“Yeah Dipper, we’ll have all sorts of discoveries this summer, we don’t need to go anywhere else to find our brand of fun!” Mabel chimed in, punching Dipperin the arm.  
  
“Ow! Mabel, don’t do that! What could possibly be fascinating or discoverable in some tiny town in the middle of Oregon?” Dipper groused.  
  
“You can wander around in the woods and do all that weird nerd stuff you like, while I can be boy and friend hunting!!!” Mabel cheered. Their mom laughed and held out a hand for a high-five. Mabel slapped the proffered hand enthusiastically. Dipper sighed.  
  
“Did I mention Dipper, that your Great-Uncle Ford is an inventor? He’s been all over the world with Uncle Stan, discovering places and having adventures. Rumor has it Uncle Ford brought back quite the collection of antiquities. Your third cousin brags that he earned or paid for each one. Didn’t steal, didn’t cheat, didn’t lie,” their mom sounded admiring.  
  
“Wait, what were they doing! How long did they travel? Where did they go!? This is vital information you didn’t share Mom!” Dipper sputtered.  
  
“This is vital information Mom!” Mabel mimicked her brother with a ridiculously deep voice and then laughed gaily.  
  
“Bro-bro, you need to chill out. It’s vacation! Our birthday is in three months! Who cares where Uncle Ford and Uncle Stan found their stuff?” Mabel said breezily. Dipper glared at his twin, but said nothing back, and waited for his mom to explain.  
  
“Well, fact and fiction look really similar when it comes to Ford and Stan’s adventures. How Uncle Stan tells them, anyway. What I know from your Granddad, my father, is that the twins were drafted into the army a little while after he was born,” their mother began.  
  
“Drafted!? Into what war?” Dipper exclaimed.  
  
“Twins!? We have TWIN great uncles?” Mabel squealed.  
  
“If you two keep interrupting me, you won’t get to know everything I know before we get there! Yes, Stan and Ford Pines are identical twins. Except….well, you’ll see. Anyway, they were drafted into the army for the Vietnam War. Something happened over there, no one knows what. Stan has never given the same story twice, but what he told me, when I was you two’s age, was that he and Ford had gotten into trouble over some imported exotic animals,” their mother went on.  
  
“Wait, didn’t you just say Uncle Ford is really respected for not stealing or scamming people?” Dipper pointed out. Their mother laughed.  
  
“I did say Ford. Not uncle Stan though,” she replied. Mabel and Dipper looked at one another, Dipper curious and Mabel nervous.  
  
“Mom are you sure about them? Is there a nice bed and breakfast we could stay in instead? With a garden full of those little fairy homes, and hot chocolate with as much whip as I want before bed, and glitter everywhere, and my own little wagon pulled by a tiny pony to get around in?” Mabel fantasized, eyes turning into liquid puddles of cuteness, which always happened when she begged for something.  
  
“Mabel I think you’re thinking of ‘My Dream Birthday Bash’ again. You seriously need to stop watching that show, your eyes’ll drop out of your head,” Dipper snickered. Mabel glared at him.  
  
“Ugh, who wouldn’t want to watch a show about happy sparkly things and milkshakes and tiny ponies!?” Mabel scoffed at Dipper.  
  
“Hey you two, do you want to know more or do you want to play the quiet game?” their mother warned them gently. Both twins immediately close their mouths.  
  
“So after this alleged-alleged, Mabel- transgression with the wild animals-”  
  
“What does transgression mean?” Dipper interjected.  
  
“It means doing something that breaks a law or rule. After that, the two of them were discharged from the army. Honorably, because according to Stan no one could prove anything. So after they left Vietnam, they started bouncing all around India and Japan and other parts of the East. Your granddad told me that he didn’t physically see his brothers until he was eighteen. Until then they were just scratchy voices over a telephone. They came home for his high school graduation, then disappeared again until one day he got a postcard from Ford who apparently had decided to settle down in Gravity Falls, Oregon,” their mother said. The car was quiet for a moment.  
  
“Wait, wait, that’s it? That’s all anyone knows!?” Dipper exclaimed. “Wow, that’s kinda sad they didn’t visit Granddad more,” Mabel commented. “Yeah that’s messed up,” Dipper tacked on.  
  
“I think they had a very different sort of family than we have,” their mother responded absently, squinting through the misty trees. Mabel and Dipper looked at each other again, this time both uncomfortable; from the sounds of it they were having a childhood very similar to Grandpa Shermie’s. Although he had had it better because he just had absent brothers, not a traveling mom.  
  
Sophia Pines was a cultural anthropologist, historian, and archaeologist, specializing in Central and South American cultures. For most of the year, Dipper and Mabel were shuttled from relative to relative while their mother went to a university in Panama or a dig site in Peru. This resulted in an impressive postcard collection on their fridge in Piedmont, California, their original hometown, which was added to during their brief stop-overs.  
  
“We’re almost there, I think, just a few more miles,” their mom assured them. Dipper squinted out the window again while Mabel went back to her crossword puzzle. The mist swirled, almost completely obscuring the pine trees close to the road, but not thick enough to hide a sudden darting figure.  
  
Dipper gasped quietly and pressed his face against the glass. Had he imagined it? Or maybe it was just a deer? But there it was again, a dark, hulking shape through the fog, darting lightning quick between the trees.  
  
“Mom? I think-”  
  
“Oh here we are!” their mother cut Dipper off. Mabel squealed and leaned forward to look out the front. Dipper leaned forward too.  
  
Out of the interminable mist rose a large, ramshackle, wooden house. Quite a few shingles were falling off the roof, and the porch sagged. In the corner where two of the slanted roofs met, a platform was wedged, with a telescope perched on top. The entire structure looked like it needed a power wash and a paint job. Maybe an extra support beam or two. A little ways behind the house, among the trees, stood an equally ancient looking barn, massive and forbidding.  
  
Their mother parked the Subaru about twenty yards away, and the three of them sat there silently. “Have you ever visited them before, mom?” Mabel asked uncertainly. “Not as such, no. But old people love surprises!” No sooner had she said that then a loud ‘baaaa!’ made them all jump. Mabel and Dipper peered out his window right into the eyes of a goat which was lazily chewing some grass.  
  
“Well, we’re wasting daylight. Let’s go see your great-uncles!” their mother said briskly, climbing out of the car and pulling her seat forward for Mabel and Dipper. The two of them clambered out, still staring at the hulking structure.  
  
“I take it back, Mabel, maybe there’s a hotel we can stay in,” Dipper whispered to his sister. Mabel nodded fervently. They watched their mother walk up the porch steps and knock on the door. She looked back, and saw the twins walking very, very slowly towards the porch.  
  
“It’s not going to bite! Besides, you should probably wait on the porch while I-”  
  
“NOT INTERESTED YOU VULTURES! YOU’RE NOT TAKING MY MONEY!” a voice bellowed from behind the door. Mabel and Dipper clutched each other and screamed. “Uncle Stan it’s me! Sophie Pines! Shermy’s daughter?” their mom called back. A resounding silence came from inside the house.  
  
“Uncle Stan? You know, your brother Sherm-”  
  
“I know who the *#&^^) he is!” the voice bellowed again. Mabel and Dipper cringed and covered their ears to block out the expletive. Their mother’s face went white, as it did whenever she was truly furious.  
  
“I’ll thank you not to use that kind of language in from of mine or anyone else’s children!” she yelled back. Another long silence.  
  
“What do you want?” the voice barked. “I have a couple of people for you to meet, but I was hoping I could come in to talk first,” she explained. “If this is some kind of trick, you won’t be leaving this property in one piece,” the voice threatened. Sophie crossed her arms and waited.  
  
Finally, a series of rattling clanks came from behind the door, which Dipper realized was the sound of at least four deadbolts and three security chains being undone. “Wow this must be the safest house in the world!” Mabel whispered to Dipper. “Yeah, but are they trying to keep stuff in or out?” Dipper responded, thinking of the strange shape he saw from the car window.  
  
Finally the door creaked open and Dipper and Mabel gasped and clutched each other harder. The weak afternoon light revealed an old man: square-jawed, hulking, and the same large nose that their mother was so proud of. He wore square glasses, a ragged tank top, dirty camo pants, and a thunderous scowl.  
  
“Uncle Stan! It’s been too long! May I come in?” Sophie asked, and not waiting for a response, jerked the screen door open and insinuated herself into the house. Stan scanned the yard suspiciously, squinted Mabel and Dipper, and then slammed the door shut.  
  
Shocked, Mabel and Dipper let go of each other. “Is mom sure he’s actually her uncle?” Dipper said uneasily. Mabel shook her head. “Did you see his nose? Definitely related. Just think, one day we’ll have that nose!” Mabel replied, clasping her hands in awe. Mabel then set about exploring the yard; peering into holes and poking at the woodpile. Dipper sat down on the porch, eyes scanning the woods.  
  
Dipper knew that he hadnt imagined the figure in the woods. Maybe it wasnt anything strange, maybe just a bear, but it had been moving awful fast--  
  
“BAAAAAAHHH!!!”  
  
Dipper screamed and clutched one of the porch posts. Mabel laughed heartily as Dipper tried to get his heartrate down. Despite Dipper’s yell, the goat was still staring at him only a few feet away.  
  
“Nice goat, you’re a nice goat, don’t come any closer!” Dipper gasped.  
  
“Yeah Dipper, that goat is a nice goat! He won’t hurt you!” Mabel reassured him, now having graduated to handstands and cartwheels. “Augh, goat poop, goat poop!” Mabel yelled, waving her hands in the air a moment later.  
  
Dipper managed to stifle his shriek when the door to the house flew open and crashed into a wall. The goat gave another loud wail and ran away.  
  
“Leave us alone! We don’t have time for two whippersnappers tripping us up all summer!” a booming voice commanded imperiously. Dipper leapt off the porch and backed away, turning to face the angry voice.  
  
Where Stan Pines had the air of a bulldog, Ford Pines was a tightly wound spring: more compact, hair swept back, a manic energy projecting from him. He strode out onto the porch wearing thick leather gloves, a mechanic's coverall, and a dirty lab coat, and glared at Mabel, who was attempting to turn on the hose to wash her hands off. Then he glared at Dipper down his proud Pines nose.  
  
Dipper gulped and backed away a few more steps. But Mabel ran right up to Ford, hand out, talking a mile a minute. “Uncle Ford! It’s so cool to meet you! We’re gonna have so many adventures and I brought my sticker collection and Dipper and mine’s video camera and it’s gonna be so fun!” she yelled. Uncle Ford was still frowning, but more out of confusion than anger.  
  
“Uncle Ford, Uncle Stan, this is your grand-niece Mabel. The one behind her is your grand-nephew Dipper,” their mom said proudly while Uncle Stan leaned over the porch railing. He looked reluctantly amused.  
  
“Well, um, hello, Mabel,” Uncle Ford said as he took Mabel’s hand. As soon as he clasped his hand around hers, she gasped.  
  
“Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal!” Mabel exclaimed. The corner of Uncle Ford’s mouth twitched suspiciously. “Hrmph. Your kid is weird,” Ford informed his niece.  
  
Dipper realized this was what their mother meant by ‘except’: Ford had six fingers on each hand. Ford released Mabel, who ran back to the spigot on the house to finish getting the goat poop off. Ford advanced on Dipper, who gulped and braced himself for judgment.  
  
“Dipper. How old are you and your sister?” Ford inquired somberly as he shook Dipper’s hand. Thankfully he held out the gloved hand without goat poop on it. Ford’s hand felt no different than anyone else’s hand despite the sixth finger. What really surprised Dipper was how gentle his uncle was. Most grown-ups and older kids liked to crush his hand to feel superior, or something.  
  
“Uh, twelve, sir,” Dipper stammered. Ford scowled off into the trees, and broke off the shake. “If you’re spending the summer here, the first rule is that you can call neither Stanley nor I ‘sir’. Is that clear?” Ford admonished sternly. Dipper’s heart sank. He’d already managed to irritate the one person who might make his summer interesting.  
  
“Sorry, Uncle Ford,” Dipper mumbled.  
  
“I know you four will have a wonderful summer together! This is quite the…..eclectic set-up you have here,” their mom interjected, watching the goat attempt to chew on the Subaru’s bumper. “Mom I already found six different holes that are perfect for fairy homes! And I don’t need a tiny horse if I have a goat!” Mabel exclaimed.  
  
“Absolutely sweetheart. How about you two put all the stuff from the car in the attic?” she suggested. Dipper’s mouth dropped open in outrage. A dusty cramped dingy little attic was all they got?  
  
“It’s an actual room, Dipper,” Sophie said wearily. Dipper scowled, refusing to feel bad at all. He and Mabel got dropped off at a new place practically every other month, the least they deserved was a real bedroom.  
  
“C’mon, I’ll show you the room. Let your mom and Ford talk shop,” Stan finally intervened in the conversation. “Yay! Sharing a room, Dipper! I get the cuter side!” Mabel shouted as she dashed for the car.  
  
  
  
“Well, here it is. Not much, but more than a ditch at the side of the road, ammiright?” Stan asked as the twins looked at the creaky, dusty, but surprisingly spacious room. Stan guffawed at his own joke and clapped Mabel and Dipper on their shoulders. Mabel looked pleased.  
  
“It’s nice and cozy, Uncle Stan. My posters will look great up here!” she gushed. A closet door stood open to their left, and in the wall opposite was a triangular window. Dipper walked over and went up on his tiptoes, trying to see more than the gently waving tops of the pine trees.  
  
“Uncle Stan, why was Uncle Ford so upset about being called ‘sir’?” Dipper asked Stan. Stan scratched the back of his head.  
  
“Well uh, I guess it makes him think about our old man, and that’s not very fun,” Stan explained. Mabel put down her Sev’ral Timez poster and frowned at their uncle. “What does that mean, Uncle Stan?” she demanded.  
  
“Who wants to feel old!? Look me ‘n’ Ford were born a couple years after the first dinosaurs, but we don’t like to be reminded of that!” Stan protested. Mabel giggled. “That explains the smell,” she stage-whispered into Dipper’s ear. Stan pointed at her. “I heard that. Dinner is always at seven,” Stan grumbled. With that, he clomped out of the room and down the stairs, leaving Mabel and Dipper to their own devices.  
  
“Do you think what he said was true, Mabel? That’s why Uncle Ford got mad at me?” Dipper asked worriedly. Mabel blew a raspberry. “Of course silly! Besides, no one could stay mad at you for long, you’re too smart!” Mabel reassured him. Dipper smiled. Mabel really was the best twin a twin could ask for.  
  
  
  
Saying goodbye to their mother went as it usually did: a long, fierce hug, followed by several kisses on the cheek. “Be great, you two. See if you can’t find out some of those family secrets, huh?” She said, just for Mabel and Dipper to hear. ‘Be great’ was what she always said instead of goodbye. Their mother maintained that being good was all relative, thus everyone should strive to be great. Dipper never understood how he was supposed to be great if he never got to go anywhere or do anything important.  
  
They nodded without trying to smile, said the ‘I love you’s, and watched as Sophie Pines climbed into the much emptier Subaru and set off down the road. Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford silently watched this display from the porch without comment, the goat looking on pensively.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dinner that first night was an awkward affair. The four of them sat around the rickety kitchen table and shovelled down overdone broccoli and spicy shredded chicken; the twins had milk to cut the spice, but Uncle Ford had a steaming cup of coffee at his elbow. Uncle Ford also spent the entire time with his face shoved in a book and Mabel was uncharacteristically quiet. Dipper knew that his sister was quietly trying to find some angle to use on their uncles, but also brooding over their mother leaving.  
  
“Soooo, is it okay if I watch the Jurassic Park marathon tonight on TBS?” Dipper asked. Uncle Ford didn’t even glance up from the theoretical physics text. Stan stared at Dipper with bulging cheeks.  
  
“‘E dn’t ‘ave calbl,” Stan mumbled around his food. “Oooooh!!! I speak ‘too-much-food-in-my-mouth’ too Uncle Stan!” Mabel exclaimed, and proceeded to shove several massive forkfuls of broccoli into her mouth.  
  
“‘Ee! I ‘an ‘oo i’ ‘oo!” she said proudly, before chewing ferociously. Ford still didn’t look up from reading. Was the guy a robot? Stan stared at Mabel with concern until she swallowed all the broccoli and started coughing violently.  
  
“We don’t have cable, kid,” Stan finally told Dipper.  
  
“Well, what’s the wifi password?” Dipper tried to sound polite.  
  
“Only have dial-up,” Stan said around another mouthful of chicken. He didn’t seem to notice how spicy the meat was, and neither did Ford. Dipper had to stuff himself with Hawaiian King rolls or broccoli after every bite.  
  
“No wifi!?” Dipper gasped, truly outraged. “‘Aht’s ‘errible!!” Mabel shouted through a mouthful of roll. Ford finally looked up from his book.  
  
“Stan has a router in his room. He just likes to hoard the bandwidth,” Ford smirked at his brother, who scowled back.  
  
“When you have a brother who goes through a million gigs of research a month, it’s not hard to see why,” Stan snapped back. Ford made a face like he’d just bit into a lemon.  
“Well when your research might actually revolutionize the world-” Dipper’s ears perked up, but Ford never finished the sentence because Mabel chose that moment to start actually choking on a piece of broccoli.  
  
“Mabel?!” Dipper yelled in panic. Stan leapt to his feet and practically ripped the phone off the wall in his hurry to call an ambulance; Ford lunged for his grand-niece.  
  
In the hubbub that followed, Mabel successfully ejected the offending vegetable via Uncle Ford’s heimlich maneuver, Dipper screamed a lot, and two Gravity Falls General paramedics were thoroughly charmed by Mabel’s cheerfulness in the aftermath of the incident.  
  
Stan heaved a deep sigh. “If the entire summer is going to be like this, I’m going to bed now,” he grumbled. “Good night Uncle Stan!” Mabel called out cheerily, still waving at the ambulance making its way back towards Gravity Falls.  
  
Uncle Ford didn’t say anything. He just walked into the kitchen and started clearing the table. Mabel suddenly shivered and tugged at Dipper’s arm. “C’mon Dip-Dop, let’s go see what we can watch on five channels.” Dipper nodded in agreement. He didn’t like the way the shadows seemed to stretch farther than was natural, or the shade of orange the trees were bathed in against the hazy sky.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“We’re old men, we don’t know much about kids. So if you need something…...you’ll need to find it yourself. Or do without. And another thing,” Uncle Ford said from the bottom of the stairs. Dipper and Mabel froze in their tracks.  
  
“Stan and I, we’re getting old. We might die at any time. So if you wake up one morning and we’ve expired, you’re on your own.” Ford finished gravely. Mabel and Dipper nodded mutely, and ran the rest of the way up the stairs.  
  
“Oh my gosh! He can’t be serious, can he Dipper?! We only just got here, we haven’t even made friendship bracelets yet! They can’t die!” Mabel fretted. Dipper shook his head.  
  
“Mabel, I have no clue why Uncle Ford is such a weird guy, but you shouldn’t let it bother you. He was probably just pulling our legs. Leg? Our collective leg?” Dipper wondered as he unzipped his duffel and pulled out a toothbrush. Mabel fiddled with the hem of her sweater.  
  
“I miss mom,” she said sadly.  
  
“C’mon, let’s have a toothbrushing contest, and then play the ceiling-shape-finding game. That’s what we do every night at a new place, right?” Dipper said brightly. Mabel nodded reluctantly and got out her toothbrush.  
  
  
  
Three hours and 25 rounds of I Spy and ceiling-shape-finding game later and Dipper was just drifting off to sleep. Mabel was making a cootie catcher and listening to her Ipod, so she didn’t hear the distinctive sound of heavy footsteps on the roof of their room.  
  
“Mabel? Mabel! Did you hear that? Mabel take your headphones off!” Dipper commanded, jumping out of bed, no longer sleepy.  
  
“What, what!? I didn’t hear anything Dipper!” Mabel frantically pulled her headphones out of her ears. It was dead silent in the room for ten seconds, then came the footsteps again.  
  
“There! Did you hear that? That’s way too heavy to be a squirrel or a raccoon!” Dipper exclaimed in a hushed voice. “Maybe it’s the goat!” Mabel hypothesized. Dipper frowned at his sister.  
  
“Mabel, how would the goat get on the roof.”  
  
“Goats have mysterious ways,” Mabel replied sagely. The footsteps came again, this time further away.  
  
“Come on, whatever it is, it’s leaving! I wanna know what it is!” Dipper said, and snatching up his flashlight from the nightstand stole into the hallway, Mabel close behind.  
  
The two weren’t familiar with the house, but eventually they found a window with the perfect access to the roof. Scrambling over the peaks and valleys Mabel quickly overtook Dipper, looking like a very large squirrel, braces gleaming in the moonlight.  
  
“Mabel wait up I’m-” Dipper panted right before he nearly ran into Mabel where she stood, stock still, peering over the last peak. Dipper groaned and crawled up next to her.  
  
Uncle Ford stood on the tiny platform below, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He stood there relaxed, hands loose at his sides, completely unaware of the chilly breeze sweeping down off the mountains.  
  
“Uncle Ford?” Mabel called uncertainly. The tree boughs sighed in the wind and a faint creaking from the ancient weathervane a few feet to their left was her response.  
Ford suddenly dropped into a perfectly executed roll across the platform, making Dipper squeak in surprise and Mabel clutch his arm in a death grip. Uncle Ford came to a stop at just shy of the edge, bracing his left hand in his right.  
  
“What is he doing?” Dipper muttered to himself. “I think-I think he’s shooting a pretend gun. I saw it once on a TV show,” Mabel whispered back.  
  
“Uncle Ford!” Mabel called out a little louder. Uncle Ford remained motionless. It was a mesmerizing scene: the moon full and heavy high above, almost daylight bright, the ground a dizzying distance away, and the solitary figure in such flimsy clothes holding himself with military precision and strength.  
  
“He’s asleep, Mabel. He’s sleepwalking,” Dipper said in a hush. Mabel stared down at their uncle, fascinated. “I guess he’s dreaming about Vietnam,” Mabel said sadly. The two of them watched as the minutes ticked by and Uncle Ford remained in his rigid stance. Before long, the twins’ eyelids began to droop, and Dipper gasped awake as his hand slipped off the peak of the roof.  
  
“Mabel, Mabel come on, we have to go inside if we’re gonna sleep,” he said blearily. Mabel groaned, but carefully stood up from her crouch. They shuffled back across the roof, slipped in through the window, and collapsed into bed, asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.  



	2. Chapter 2

When Dipper and Mabel woke the next morning to brilliant sunshine, the events of the night seemed mystical and bizarre. “What the heck could make a guy like Uncle Ford look all scary and intense? I mean the guy is some kind of researcher, right?” Dipper asked Mabel as he paced their room. Mabel was sorting through her box of tiny houses, deciding which she would set up first. “Grunkle!” she exclaimed, holding up a tiny birdbath.  
  
“Is that your catchword of the week?” Dipper asked in confusion. “No silly! That’s the actual name for a great-uncle! A grunkle! I think it works for them,” Mabel said cheerfully. Dipper laughed, a real full-bodied laugh, and Mabel beamed.  
  
“Yeah! That’s awesome. Grunkle Stan,” Dipper tried it out. “Grunkle Ford! Totally perfect,” Mabel concurred.  
  
“I dunno Dipper, Mom did say they fought in a war, Grunkle Ford musta seen a lot of scary stuff. Maybe it’s in his subconscience psyches,” Mabel whispered mysteriously. Dipper crossed his arms. “That made no sense at all.” Mabel stuck out her tongue. “You don’t make sense! Last one downstairs is a poo-face!” she retorted, jumping to her feet and racing out of the room.  
  
Dipper laughed and charged after her.  
  
   
  
Breakfast was slightly less awkward than dinner the night before; Dipper put it down to the familiarity gained from saving you great-niece’s life.  
  
“So, you two disappeared for thirty whole years. Where were you?” Mabel asked casually over a bowl of ‘Frost-O Flakeys’. Dipper poked her in the side. “Mabel! They’re not just gonna tell us, when nobody’s known forever!” he hissed in his twin’s ear. Ford took a sip of orange juice and Stan swallowed his mouthful of pancakes, seemingly undisturbed by the question.  
  
“China, mostly,” Ford said absently, poking at his tablet. Dipper gaped at his Grunkle. “What, that’s it!? It’s that easy?! Just ask and you’ll tell us?” he sputtered. Ford’s face quickly grew thunderous, but Stan broke in before his brother could unleash his anger.  
  
“You can’t believe everything people and family say, kid. We were in China, India, Myanmar, Russia, Greece-” Stan rattled off countries, and Ford abruptly stood and stalked out of the kitchen. It was dead quiet for a moment before Stan let out a gusty sigh. Mabel shrank in her seat, while Dipper glared at his Grunkle’s retreating back.  
  
“Sorry Grunkle Stan,” she mumbled, pulling at her sweater. Stan reached out a hand and ruffled her hair. “No apologies this early in the morning kid. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Stan said gruffly. Mabel smiled tentatively, and Stan winked at her.  
  
Breakfast was finished in relative silence, with the occasional bleating of the goat. After, Mabel ran outside to set up her fairy homes and to befriend the goat. Which she’d dubbed ‘Gompers’. Dipper sat with Grunkle Stan in front of the TV watching game show after game show.  
  
“I’m a what now?” Stan asked during a commercial break. “Mabel told me. Grunkle is the actual title for great-uncle. So you’re Grunkle Stan now,” Dipper said. Grunkle Stan scratched at his stubbly jaw.  
  
“Huh. Sounds like some kinna disease. That I may or may not have. Whatever you kids are saying these days, I don’t care. Now shut up and watch the game show,” Grunkle Stan replied without any real ire. Dipper smiled to himself.  
  
When Grunkle Stan got up, stretched, and left the room around one o’clock, Dipper assumed it was to go to the bathroom. He was quickly disabused of that idea when Stan walked by again toting a large, black rifle covered with shiny levers and buttons.  
  
“Grunkle Stan, where are you going with that?” Dipper asked apprehensively.  
  
“Why don’t you come out on the porch and see?” Grunkle Stan grinned a devilish grin. Dipper stared at the television set for a moment before scrambling up and dashing out of the room. He raced out onto the porch just as a shiny, compact car sped out of the woods.  
  
Mabel and the goat looked up from where they were having a staring contest. The shiny doors popped open and out popped two shiny, perfect human beings.  
  
“Hello there! Might you be Ford Pines? We’re from Invent-A-Tech, a start-up-” the shiny perfect man started to say, but was cut off by Stan firing his rifle in the air. Mabel and Dipper clapped hands over ears, as did the Invent-A-Tech representatives while a flock of crows fled the treetops, cawing their disapproval. Neither Stan nor the goat so much as blinked.  
  
“Sir! Do you have a permit for that!?” the shiny woman shrieked. Stan pressed a button and the rifle gave an ominous whine. “For this old thing? I don’t think our upstanding local police have time to worry about an old pop-gun like this!” Grunkle Stan called. Then he fired another warning shot.  
  
“Get off this property and don’t come back,” Grunkle Stan growled and leveled the rifle at the Invent-A-Tech people. Like reverse jack-in-the-boxes, the man and woman ducked back into their car and drove wildly back the way they came.  
  
“Buncha charlatans comin’ here disturbing the peace,” Stan grumbled and sat down on the old overstuffed sofa on the porch. Mabel and Dipper gaped at their Grunkle. Mabel ran to the side of the porch and began to shimmy up the drainpipe.  
  
“Mabel what are you doing?” Dipper called. “Front row seats! The pipe is so crooked it’s perfect for climbing,” Mabel called back, peering over the edge of the porch roof. Grunkle Stan glared up at her. Dipper wiped his sweaty palms on his shorts and started to climb.  
  
What followed was a spectacular showcase of Oregon’s finest entrepreneurs, salesmen, and missionaries. Sometimes Grunkle Stan just argued economic theory with the interlopers, sometimes he didn’t bother to get off the couch to shoot harmlessly over the roofs of the cars. The only time he got good and riled was with the religious people.  
  
“But Mr. Pines, you must realize your soul is in much danger! Living such a lifestyle is anathema to goodness and morality-” the smug man was cut off by the bang from Grunkle Stan’s shotgun blowing out one of the car’s tires.  
  
“If you measure a man’s worth by a single aspect of him, you’re the dumbest person alive!” Stan bellowed. The man cowered.  
  
“This is unnecessary Mr. Pines! At least take a pamphlet?” The man yelled from behind the open door of his car, waving brochures. Stan promptly blasted them apart with his gun. The man appeared to admit defeat and drove off erratically, his flat tire making the car dip and bob.  
  
“Wow Grunkle Stan, you’re really good at shooting stuff!” Mabel called as she shimmied back down the drainpipe, Dipper in hot pursuit. “What kind of gun is that, exactly?” Dipper asked suspiciously.  
  
“A darn good one, kid. Now you and your sister go play in the woods, or something, I have things to do,” Stan shooed them off. Mabel went willingly, Dipper with much glaring.  
  
“Maybe there are neighbors in the woods!” Mabel enthused. Dipper grimaced. “I dunno if we really want to be friends with people who live in the middle of the woods,” Dipper started. Mabel gave him a punch in the arm. “We live in the middle of the woods, dummy!” Mabel protested.  
  
The two of them wandered around near the house for a couple hours, dodging poison ivy and trying to sneak up on the local wildlife. Dipper kept a sharp eye out for anything unusual. Sometimes he`d glimpse something darting away, just out of sight, but he put that down to the high deer population. Mabel discovered some crystals, growing from a spur of rock; Dipper pocketed one for further examination.  
  
At some point during a pickup game of tag, Dipper tripped and fell down a little slope and hit a very odd sounding tree.  
  
“What the heck was that noise Dipper? Was that your head?” Mabel yelled down the hill. Dipper groaned. “No! I think it was this tree!” Dipper called back. “No offense bro, but it makes way more sense to me that you might be an android with a metal head and that tree is totally normal,” Mabel called as she ran down the hill. “Ha ha, you’re a regular comedian. It was definitely the tree,” Dipper grumbled, rubbing his head. Mabel approached the offending tree and gave it a solid kick. Again came a resounding CLANG. Mabel hopped around the tree, clutching her foot.  
  
“I told you it was the tree!” Dipper exclaimed, running careful fingers over the bark; it didn’t all seem to be metal, just the side he’d bumped his head on and Mabel kicked. “Hey, I think I found a lever!” Dipper reported, and pressed the indentation, heart beating double-time, Mabel peering over his shoulder-  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
“What! All that build up and nothing!?” Mabel complained. “I guess. Weird that someone would put a metal panel in a tree out here. What could it be for?” Dipper muttered to himself. Mabel started exploring the clearing.  
  
“Aughg! I’m trapped! Something’s got me!” Mabel cried. Dipper rushed over. “Oh my gosh, Mabel look what you found! This must be what the lever was for!” Dipper exclaimed. Mabel’s foot was trapped by a metal door covered in lichen and dirt closing over a hole in the ground. “You must have put your foot in it just as it was closing, nice!” Dipper crowed.  
  
“Dipper I don’t care how cool this is, get me out!” Mabel said in a panicked voice. Dipper ran back to the metal tree and pressed the hidden lever. “Oh thank goodness,” Mabel said. Dipper ran back to his sister just in time to catch the metal trap door before it closed. It squeaked and groaned a little in protest before stopping completely. It wasn’t a deep hole, but the thick canopy above meant Dipper pulled out his pocket flashlight and flicked it on. The twins gasped.  
  
“Whoa, it’s like buried treasure. I told you we’d find cool stuff here Dipper!” Mabel said in a hushed voice. Dipper could only nod.  
  
Inside the hole was all manner of miscellaneous objects, some of which neither of them could identify. There were solved Rubik's cubes, a set of wood carving knives, a couple of hunting knives, a necklace of teeth, several sealed test tubes, a wrist-watch with six hands, several floppy disks, a strange rock that looked like a face, and at the very bottom a moleskin notebook.  
  
Mabel picked up the tooth necklace, marveling at its variety and pointy-ness. Dipper felt around inside the space and realized the entire secret compartment was lined with metal. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to protect these items. Next he grabbed the floppy disks and and squinted at the labels; there was no discernible writing, only weird symbols. Finally he picked up the journal and carefully undid the rubber bands holding it shut. The inside cover had a space to put a name, but it was blank. Dipper turned the page to the first entry.  
  
_“July 8th, 1977. Translated more runes today with the help of my gadgetry. The Ancient Greeks knew more than the Father of Lies could tell! If they will not help my coding revolution, they will at least give me insight into new ciphers and the potential for Travel.  
Met a handsome, mysterious stranger at the ruins today. I wonder what their intentions are. I told S in my latest letter, perhaps that will get a reaction!” _Dipper read, squinting at the cramped print. Mabel squealed “Ooooh! Handsome mysterious stranger?! Who wrote it, I wanna know more!” Dipper flipped to the back cover, careful not to spill any of the loose papers shoved between the pages.  
  
“There’s no name on the covers. Huh. Wonder who the ‘Father of Lies’ is?” he mused. Mabel pouted. “You better tell me if there’s anything else about the handsome stranger! And I’m keeping this necklace,” Mabel declared, draping the strand of teeth around her neck. Dipper scrunched up his nose. “You know what those are, right?”  
  
   
  
The two of them decided to loiter in the woods until dusk, the better to smuggle their treasure into the house. Dipper decided to keep the floppy disks and journal and the rock. The rock because it was absolutely eerie how much it looked like a face. Mabel took the wrist-watch, necklace of teeth, and the carving knives; then she drew a big smiley face with her lime green permanent write-on-anything marker on the metal tree, just in case.  
  
“Having a permanent marker on you is always a good idea,” Mabel said, nodding her head wisely. “Definitely,” Dipper grinned. As darkness grew and crept between the trees, the two of them carried their loot back to the house. They let themselves in and tip-toed up the stairs, letting the television mask the squeakiest steps.  
  
That first full day of being in Gravity Falls set a pattern: each morning Mabel and Dipper got up, ate whatever sugary cereal was available while watching weird obscure cartoons on the ancient TV set, while Grunkle Stan sat silently behind the local newspaper. Some days he’d make pancakes, but those had one too many hairs in them for Dipper’s taste; Dipper would then watch more TV with Grunkle Stan while Mabel drew or knitted; one o’clock started the parade of ‘nosy trouble-makers’ as Grunkle Stan referred to them; after that Mabel and Dipper would explore or play board games.  
  
Meanwhile Grunkle Ford could only be seen if he was traversing from the basement to his study to the bathroom and back again. Dipper preferred it that way at that point, leery of angering his grunkle, but also wanting more time to observe and parse what the old man was doing in his basement work room; so he watched Grunkle Ford covertly, noting the the large amounts of copper wire and vaguely marked chemicals disappearing into the basement every other day. Not to mention the vast amount of coffee he consumed.  
  
Grunkle Stan took to complaining about the crooked drainpipe and that it grew crookeder by the day because of Mabel and Dipper climbing on it, so the twins spent an entire afternoon constructing a rope ladder and nailing it firmly to the porch roof. Grunkle Stan scowled when they unveiled their efforts, but Dipper would swear Grunkle Ford looked mildly impressed.  
  
After her futile efforts to train Gompers to pull a wagon, Mabel exerted herself in expanding her sweater collection and filming random parts of the forest for hours. Dipper spent a lot of time in the woods too, looking for evidence of the dark figure he’d seen that first day. Deep in the woods he and Mabel found tiny shoe prints with strange pebble formations nearby; Dipper conjectured they were minimoys, while Mabel guessed fairies.  
  
Dipper also spent a lot of time deciphering the journal. The Author (Dipper already capitalized them in his mind) was absolutely brilliant, peppering the pages of the journal liberally with strings of computer code, much of it a code itself which Dipper struggled to crack. He also suspected a secondary code having to with Herodotus (thank goodness for Google) because he came up at strategic points in the journal.  
  
The handsome mysterious stranger did as well, and so did the elusive ‘S’, but there were never any clues as to the genders of the persons. Dipper shared the most exciting bits with Mabel, and they had fun conjecturing who the Author could be.  
__

__  
June flew by, and Dipper suddenly found himself wondering less and less what their mother was doing at any given time; sure, he still missed her like a missing arm, but it didn’t feel like he was missing something infinitely more exciting happening somewhere else. Grunkle Stan taught them some poker, and Mabel challenged him and Grunkle Ford to endless rounds of Crazy Eights. Strangely, Grunkle Ford never complained, settling down after dinner to stare seriously at his hand and only complained when he thought Mabel was cheating (which was often).  
  
However the peaceful routine was interrupted by one car that couldn’t be turned away by mere shotgun blasts.  
  
One late afternoon as Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan struggled and argued over how to fix the crooked drainpipe, Dipper sat on the porch roof reading the Journal, and Mabel did an X-treme Puzzle (this was done by putting a puzzle together on a wall with glue; in this case, the side of the house), a massive white Escalade rumbled out of the woods, merrily honking its horn. Gompers fled the scene, and the poor flock of crows screamed in disapproval.  
  
“More ‘family’,” Dipper heard Grunkle Ford sneer, giving the drainpipe a vicious whack with a wooden mallet. Dipper winced; apparently the Grunkles hadn’t forgiven their mom for foisting him and Mabel off on them.  
  
“Vultures,” Stan snarled. The SUV came to a halt, and the doors opened spilling out a motley group of people. A tall, well-built man in cowboy boots and stetson climbed out of the driver’s seat, doffing his hat and calling out. A hulking man, bald of head and covered in tattoos, got out of the back of the car. For a wild moment Dipper wondered if this was some kind of mob hit, but then the burly man reached into into the car and set a kid down on the ground. The kid had to be his and Mabel’s age, with shiny golden hair piled impossibly tall. Dipper heard Mabel’s squeal of admiration from his perch on the roof. The hulking man then offered a hand to a girl with equally golden hair and a haughty look on her face. Dipper had a bad feeling about all of this.  
  
“Uncle Stanford! Uncle Stanley! My how wonderful it is to see you on this day, and how well you look!” the man in the stetson called out jovially. Dipper smothered a laugh at this; Grunkle Stan was wearing a pair of hideously ratty old-man jeans with a white tank top and Grunkle Ford was wearing cargo shorts and a turtleneck. The man in the stetson continued, “why we were just poking about down in So-Cal, spying on the competition when we thought, well, we haven’t seen good ol’ Uncle Stan and Uncle Ford in quite some time, no we haven’t!” The man came forward with a hand outstretched. Grunkle Ford threw down the mallet and stalked away around the corner of the house. There was abrupt silence in the clearing, until Dipper heard the porch door squeak open and bang closed; Dipper felt all eyes on him as he shimmied down the rope ladder.  
  
“Who are you?” the girl spoke, staring down her snub nose at Dipper. Dipper opened his mouth, trying to think of something impressive to say, but Mabel beat him to the punch.  
  
“Hi! I’m Mabel and this is Dipper! We’re Sophie Pines’ twins! Isn’t that cool, having generations of twins in a family? What’re your names?” Mabel thrust her hand out to the girl. The stetson-wearing man grinned broadly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, the man looked very annoyed.  
  
“Well now, fancy you two bein’ here, gettin’ all cozy, havin’ a summer vacation! My name is Buddy Gleeful, I’m your great-grandaddy’s sister’s grandson! And these here are my children, Pacifica and Gideon!” Buddy introduced the boy and girl. Pacifica crossed her arms with a huff, and Gideon gave a little bow. “Who’s he?” Mabel asked, pointing at the man who’d helped the Gleeful children out of the car. “Oh, that’s Ghost-Eyes. He’s our helpin’ hand when we go on little trips like this,” Gideon explained sweetly.  
  
“Gideon, Pacifica, why don’t you two have a nice time gettin’ to know your second cousins while I go chat with Uncle Stan and Ford?” Bud sounded like he was asking, but Dipper could tell it was a command. Pacifica glowered at her father and scuffed her sparkly cowgirl boots in the dirt. Gideon smiled sweetly and pulled out a phone. Ghost-Eyes leaned against the Escalade and stared off into the woods. Before he went in the house Buddy Gleeful glared at Dipper and Mabel. “Don’t think I don’t know what sort of two-bit scheme y’all’re runnin’ here. You’ll be sorted out soon,” the man threatened.  
  
Then he strode into the house after Grunkle Stan.  
  
“What was that supposed to mean?” Dipper asked Pacifica. “I think it means we’ll all be free to have a bonfire tonight!” Mabel cheered. Pacifica smirked.  
  
“It means you two losers are gonna get shipped off to your other mom’s house so you won’t bother Great-Uncle Ford and Great-Uncle Stan anymore,” she informed them. Mabel gasped and Dipper’s heart began to pound so hard he could feel the blood throbbing in his ears. Somehow the idea of leaving the Grunkles was terrifying-more terrifying than the three weeks they’d spent there warranted.  
  
“That’s not--don’t even joke--come on Mabel!” Dipper stuttered. He grabbed his twin’s hand and ran away from Gideon’s creepy giggle and Pacifica’s cruel imitation of his stutter. They ran around the house and hid themselves in the bushes that grew wild and untamed in front of the house; someone had apparently attempted a little landscaping long ago.  
  
“Dipper what are we gonna do!? If they tell Mama that’ll be all the excuse they’ll need to take us from Mom!” Mabel exclaimed. Before Dipper could respond, Mabel pulled her sweater up over her head and began to rock herself.  
  
Their Mama, Sophie’s ex-wife, was a good person. She was their Mama. And they got to see her every Hanukkah and Passover and Purim, but the thought of going to live in boring Nebraska and leaving California and their Mom behind was.... wouldn't it mean they were betraying their Mom, finally calling it quits, not being able to handle the adventurous nomadic lifestyle of their number one hero?  
  
“Hey we don’t know if that’ll really happen, Mabel. Besides, what’s always been our backup plan?” Dipper tugged at his sister’s sweater. Mabel peeked her head out.  
  
“Run away to Argentina?”  
  
“Right. And we can’t start planning our escape unless we know for sure. C’mon,” Dipper eased the front door open and the two of them crawled their way towards the kitchen.  
  
“Two gentlemen of your entrepreneurial powers and standing should not be saddled with such children! They are stealin’ valuable time away from your important pursuits!” Bud Gleeful’s unctuous tone trickled out of the kitchen. Dipper squeezed his eyes shut, praying Grunkle Stan would say something, anything, in his and Mabel’s defense.  
  
“Besides, I and Pacifica and Gideon are so eager to share some of our ideas for, oh, all manner of wonderful enterprises,” Gleeful continued. It took Dipper completely by surprise when Grunkle Ford spoke.  
  
“If I recall correctly, I don’t think either Stan or myself extended invitations to any family members this summer,” Grunkle Ford snapped. Mabel whispered a little victory whoop, but Grunkle Ford’s retort was another punch in Dipper's gut.  
  
“You don’t think I wouldn’t drive half the West Coast to ensure my favorite Uncles weren’t being robbed blind or, heaven forbid, having grievous harm visited upon them? Do you truly have the time and energy to care for such energy-sucking children?” Buddy demanded.  
  
“Their mom’s dig will end before long,” Stan said coolly.  
  
“Her? What guarantee do you have she’ll even come back for them, much less come back in one piece? Best send them to their Momma’s out in Nebraska. Better yet send them to a real nice summer camp,” Bud dismissed. That pronouncement more than any other clutched Dipper’s heart like ice; he grabbed for Mabel’s hand but she was way ahead of him, tugging him along back out the front door.  
  
Without a word, they started sprinting down the dirt road towards Gravity Falls proper.  
_ _

__  
Mabel and Dipper wandered into the Gravity Fall’s bus station a half hour later, sweaty and out of breath, but filled with determination. They took a free map of Mexico from the bored ticket man and headed outside to sit on a bench.  
  
It was silent for a time, both of them grim and wrapped in their own thoughts, staring at names like Oaxaca and Guadalajara, wondering at the distance between them and home.  
  
“Dipper….do you ever feel like...we’re missing out on something by not living with Mama? I mean, what if we just tried it?” Mabel asked quietly. Dipper stared at the hard-packed Oregon dirt, so different from the sandy soil in Piedmont.  
  
“I thought we were happy in Piedmont. Besides, if we get sent to boring old Nebraska I’ll be that much further away from my dreams,” Dipper said dolefully. He so badly wanted to get out and see the world on his own, make amazing discoveries, and moving to a corn field in the middle of nowhere wouldn’t help him. Sure, being in Gravity Falls with the Grunkles was actually turning out to be fun, but that wasn’t as important as the future.  
  
“Ugh! Dipper! That’s not what’s important right now! What’s important is, where is our family! Where do we belong!” Mabel exclaimed, waving her hands in the air. Dipper felt a lurch of guilt and discomfort. Most of the time he avoided questions like those. It didn’t matter how sad or lost he felt now, only that it was assured he wouldn’t feel like that once he was grown up and having adventures.  
  
“Yeah, you’re right,” Dipper sighed. “Guess all I really know is that it’s not in Nebraska. Not because of the future, but, I like California and the west coast. I don’t want to leave that.”  
  
The two sat in silence, watching the denizens of Gravity Falls wander and bustle past. Before long a couple of them sat down on the bench next to Mabel.  
  
“You have a lizard on you,” Mabel said in fascination to the girl who did indeed have a sizable lizard clinging to her shirt; she was also half a foot taller than Mabel and Dipper.  
  
“Thanks. Her name’s Quimby. What’s yours?” the girl asked in a rumbling, cheerful voice. Mabel beamed. “My name’s Mabel, and this is my twin, Dipper. What are your names?” she asked.  
  
“I’m Grenda, and that’s Candy. We’re both thirteen and love eating just purple jellybeans and we live in Gravity Falls,” Grenda said proudly. Candy, a tiny girl with glasses, beamed happily.  
  
“Are you aliens disguised as children on a trip?” Candy inquired. Dipper squinted at her in confusion. “Uh, I don’t think we’re aliens, but we are planning on traveling,” he replied. Both Candy and Grenda gasped.  
  
“No one ever leaves Gravity Falls! Where are you going?” Candy asked breathlessly. “THIS IS SO EXCITING!” Grenda yelled. Mabel laughed. “We’re striking out for Argentina! We’re gonna find our mom and wear rainbow sunglasses and drink pink drinks and ride in cool cars! It’s gonna be AWESOME!” Mabel cheered, and so did Grenda and Candy.  
  
“Sunglasses, what a magical idea, wearing sunglasses!” Candy cooed. Again, Dipper was deeply confused about exactly what kind of town Gravity Falls was. What kind of state Oregon was, for that matter.  
  
“What are you guys doing here?” Dipper asked. Immediately Grenda and Candy slumped; Dipper felt bad for bringing the mood down.  
  
“We’re waiting for our summer school tutor. Wendy is super amazing awesome special but summer school isn’t,” Grenda explained. Candy nodded sadly.  
  
Mabel immediately stood up and embraced Grenda and Candy at the same time. “You girls are so brave! I think we should be friends,” Mabel pronounced. The three girls squealed and chattered and exchanged cell phone numbers, friendship instantly cemented. Dipper smiled, but he felt lost in the shuffle.  
  
Before long, a shadow fell across the group on the bench, and Dipper looked up at the most amazing person he’d ever seen.  
  
“Hey dudes, how’s it hangin’? Who are your new friends?” the tall, redheaded girl asked, leaning over her bike handlebars. Dipper was struck speechless.  
  
“This is Mabel and Dipper! They’re going on a trip to Argentina to find their mom! We are now best friends and Mabel is going to be pen pals with Quimby!” Candy explained. The girl threw back her head and laughed, and Dipper’s heart thudded painfully.  
  
“Yeah! Um, yeah, it’s no big deal. We travel alone all the time,” Dipper cut in with bravado. The girl smiled wide and honest. “I’m Wendy, I teach these guys all the stuff they need to know about everything. Speaking of which, you two ready?” Wendy asked Grenda and Candy. Candy frowned but nodded, and Grenda patted her shoulder.  
  
“We accept your challenge, Wendy,” Grenda said solemnly. “Don’t be too hard on them!” Mabel commanded Wendy. The older girl slid off her bike and took off her helmet, letting her vivid red hair swing in the sunlight. Dipper’s mouth went dry.  
  
“Don’t worry Mabel, they’ll be alright with me,” Wendy winked, then wheeled her bike towards the grim, columned building on the far side of Gravity Fall’s main square.  
  
“Bye Grenda! Bye Candy! I believe in you! I believe in our friendship!” Mabel yelled after them. “Bye Wendy! Nice to meet you! Ha ha!” Dipper yelled. Mabel turned and gave him a knowing smirk.  
  
“What? What’s that look for?” Dipper asked.  
  
“‘Bye Wendy! Nice to meet you!’” Mabel mimicked her brother. “Someone has a cruuuuussshhhh!” she sang out. Dipper shushed her.  
  
“No I don’t! Besides, we’re leaving for Argentina, remember?” Dipper said peevishly, unfolding their map again. Mabel looked uncomfortable.  
  
“Right, yeah, Argentina,” she said. They sat in silence once more, alternately looking at the map and the growing shadows at their feet. As their shadows began to blend in with the gloom of dusk, a huge white Escalade pulled up across the street and parked in front a fire hydrant.  
  
“I don’t understand why you had to drive, Ford, it’s my car--” Buddy Gleeful’s voice drifted out of the open window.  
  
“Shuddup,” came Stan’s laconic retort. Bud shut up.  
  
Dipper took his sister’s hand, squeezing it tightly. This was it, the moment of truth. Was it to be Argentina? Kansas? Gravity Falls? Or somewhere worse…  
  
Grunkle Stan stepped down from the passenger seat, and the rear door opened as well. Before Bud Gleeful’s terrifying hat could be seen by the dying light of day, Grunkle Ford snapped “Stay in the car.”  
  
“C’mon Ford,” the twins heard Grunkle Stan command. The two stared resolutely at the map; Dipper could practically hear the frantic beating of Mabel’s heart, and felt the sweat gathering on his own palms.  
  
Finally the driver’s door opened and slammed shut, and two pairs of beat up combat boots entered the twins’ line of sight. Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan sat themselves down on either side of Mabel and Dipper.  
  
“Plannin’ your next move?” Grunkle Stan gently tapped a corner of the map. Mabel nodded.  
  
“Where d’you plan on heading?”  
  
“Argentina,” Mabel mumbled. Dipper couldn’t trust his voice not to give out entirely under the strain of nerves, so he stayed silent.  
  
“I know a bit about the southern hemisphere, kid, and that ain’t Argentina,” Grunkle Stan pointed out mildly. Mabel shrugged. “It’s a work in progress. Argentina is pretty far,” she choked on the last word. Dipper felt Grunkle Ford shift uncomfortably next to him.  
  
“Relatives!” Grunkle Ford finally grumbled.  
  
“What Ford means is that family can be a real headache sometimes,” Grunkle Stan grumbled as well. Mabel clutched Dipper’s hand so hard it hurt.  
  
“Why not go to Nebraska, where your mother lives?” Grunkle Ford asked.  
  
“She has new kids. And a husband. I don’t think we’d fit in,” Dipper said hoarsely, willing the tears behind his eyes to go away. He felt Mabel nod.  
  
“We thought, maybe, if we learned how to travel like grown-ups, Mom would finally realize we could come with her for her work,” Mabel supplied in a tiny voice. Dipper felt rather than saw his Grunkles exchange a look.  
  
“Look kids, I’ve been to Argentina. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. And uh, I know you’re all set to take off but….I’d have to go back to teachin’ the goat how to play poker,” Grunkle Stan offered.  
  
“To be honest, I think these two are very self-motivated and bright young people who deserve to see the world, Lee. We should buy them some tickets right--” Grunkle Ford went to stand up but Dipper felt Grunkle Stan yank his brother’s arm. Dipper looked at Mabel, who gazed back miserably.  
  
“We’ve got even better maps than that back at the house y’know. Maps of Mexico and Panama and Argentina. Then you wouldn’t have to waste your money to keep buying maps. Right Ford?” Grunkle Stan tried again.  
  
“That would be an important way to conserve funds,” Ford conceded in confusion. Dipper wondered if Grunkle Ford had ever been or felt truly alone; he suspected the answer was ‘no’. It was silent again for a few moments.  
  
“We’ve been sent to a therapy camp before. We’re not gonna go back,” Mabel said with a thread of fear in her voice. Grunkle Ford suddenly stiffened.  
  
“That was never on the table,” he says in a low, firm voice. Mabel relaxed at once, trusting Grunkle Ford’s promise. Dipper had not once heard Grunkle Ford tell a lie or stretch the truth since they’d been there; maybe he and Mabel really have a choice in their fates.  
  
Bud chose that moment to lean impatiently on the Escalade’s horn. Dipper jumped, crinkling the map.  
  
“You sure do rile up the vultures,” Grunkle Stan said with a gruff laugh.  
  
“Hm. I have a proposal for you Dipper, Mabel. Really, you’d be doing us an enormous favor. You see, I have a hunch that if you come back with us to the house, for just a week, say, Bud and his…offspring will go away and leave us alone. And I won’t have to put up with Stan talking to the goat for a little longer. What do you say?” Grunkle Ford asked seriously. For the first time Dipper looked up at his Grunkles.  
  
“I’ll be da-rned, that just might work!” Grunkle Stan exclaimed.  
  
“Well I guess. We wouldn’t want to leave you all alone with them….” Mabel said slowly. “Really you’d be doin’ us a favor, kids,” Grunkle Stan said as he stood up from the bench. Dipper gave the map one last look, then stood up as well.  
  
“Yeah, it’s just a week,” Dipper agreed. What could happen in a week?_ _

____


End file.
